Today, 12:05 AM
Registered User
?Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1
Hello all. I am new to this forum and am hoping I can get some advice on my issue that I am having. I have been married for less than a year and don't know what to do anymore. Let me start from the beginning:
I met my now husband back in 2009. Everything seemed great and things couldn't have been going better. The summer of 2010 I discovered that my husband had once taken anti depressants but was not doing so anymore. I didn't think much of it at that point. The only thing I knew my husband struggled with from the beginning was anxiety which he was taking a medicine for. Later on in the relationship I found out that his mom's side of the family had some more major mental health issues going on (ie BiPolar, Major depression, etc). My husband told me he never had the same feelings that they were experiencing and at that point I let it go because for one, it wasn't any of my business what types of issues his family was going through, and he seemed normal. Once we got married in 2012 things began to slowly change. He became more distant and snapped at me easier. He decided to go back to school and left a full time job for a part time job and always stated that he was "bored". I always showed concern asking if there was anything I could do to make it better or tired to get him to open up to why he felt the way he did with being bored and distant but I would always get shut out. He didn't care that it bothered me and he became very disrespectful to me with his language and telling me to "f off", etc. He also was drinking every night, sometimes almost a 12 pack a night which really upset me because i don't like to be around that. In October I basically told him that we needed to do something about how things were going and that we needed to go and talk to someone or he needed to as he was the one that was having the anger issues and not me. I even offered to go and talk to someone as well about how I should cope with this. He eventually told me he felt like he "had a problem" and needed to go back on anti depressants. I talked to him about it and suggested that he should have a doctor decide if he needed to go down that path. He then blamed his issues on his side of the family saying that he got his problems from there. I went to the doctors (psych) with him, where he basically just told the doctor that he needed to go back on anti depressants and told him how he was feeling. Doctor also told him maybe he needed to go on Abilify for light Bi-Polar but he had to promise he was going to stop the drinking. Well, that was almost 6 months ago and he still drinks and is now taking meds for anxiety, depression and bi-polar disorder and still acts the same as how he was before going in. I don't know what to do and I feel stuck. I don't want to give up on my marriage but I don't see how I am going to be happy with my life 5 years from now if nothing changes. How he acts and treats me makes him sexually unattractive which has now started arguments about not showing enough physical attention to one another. I am now questioning if I even want to have children anymore because I don't want my children to grow up around this and have some of the same mental issues as him (I have no mental history on my side of the family). I know this is bad to say because I don't know what goes through his head but I feel he uses some of the medicine as an excuse or an escape. For example, I had a low point last spring with a job and because I wasn't as happy as I usually was he told me I just needed to go on anti-depressants and that would make everything better.....which is not right. Everyone has not so great times in their lives but that doesn't automatically mean one has to go on drugs to supposedly make things better. I just need some advice. I don't know what to do anymore 
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