Today, 01:26 AM
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?Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 3
My husband and I have been married for a little over three years. We went through a rough patch that started about six months into our marriage and ended almost two years ago. It was a combination of not understanding each other as much as we thought and not knowing how to meet each other's needs. What really made things worse was my depression and anxiety. I had thought I had overcome it because for almost two years I had been going great and had even been able to come off of my medication. When things started getting bad between us and especially after his father sent me a hurtful Facebook message my depression and anxiety came into play in a big way. We got into marriage counseling and I started taking an anti-anxiety medication that's done wonders.
So here we are a year and a half after our rough patch ended and my husband said he's considering divorce because he can't move past the pain. He says that even though he's forgiven me for it (though he says he hasn't forgotten) and that things are 10 times better and even though I've done everything he's asked me to with regards to my depression and anxiety, apologized for it and expressed my regret multiple times and have pursued counseling on my own it's still not enough for him and he still can't move past it. Also even though he wants children badly he refuses to have them with me because he says he doesn't want me to put them through what I put him through. He feels he's never going to be comfortable having children with me no matter how much better either of us gets. Since having children is one of his long-time dreams he feels the only way he can have them is if he divorces me and finds someone else to have children with.
I feel that we can work through the marital and individual issues and rebuild and restore our marriage but he's almost at the point of giving up. He says the only things holding him back right now is his reluctance to hurt me and his history of ending relationships in the past only to regret it.
I don't know what to do. I've been as loving and supportive as I can. For the past year and a half I've made sure I've been on the medication. In that time we've only have two incidents where things got kind of bad. I've pursued therapy on my own and in the past two years, especially the past year, I've made huge strides. Since I've struggled with fear myself I've tried to encourage him to not let his fear get the better of him and to keep fighting. Please! I need advice. I don't want to lose my husband and best friend.
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